Failure - as a parent

I have failed multiple times.

In fact, I have lost count of it.

But today, my child failed. And he cried.

Actually, he cried a lot. I wanted to comfort him and explain him why losing is not a big deal.

But he is too young to understand it. He does not know that failure is only going to make him tougher.

I am sure, he will learn in the coming days and years.

But today he didn't know that, and he felt extremely sad.

If it was a teenager or even a ten year old, my motivational pep talk could have worked.

But it didn't work today. He is merely 5 (and will turn 6 soon!)

When he is sick, I wish the illness transfers to me instead so that he doesn't have to bear the pain.

Today I wanted to cry on his behalf so that he doesn't.

I don't want him to cry. May be I want him to lose, and fail occassionaly. Like a gym trainer hurts your muscles systematically only to make them stronger.

But today it was too much. I have been the gym trainer who trained someone so hard they broke from the mind.

Now, I am introspecting. I will share my results on this blog.

Comments

The Guest from Deep Inside.

Sunrise. Birds chirp. Trees exhale oxygen. Suddenly I hear a scream. I woman was pointing at the ground. "A snake! A snake!", she frantically cried. It wasn't a snake. Snakes have removable foreskin. This creature was way too slimy and slippery to be a snake. I know what it was. It was an earthworm; disoriented earthworm. It dragged itself on the dry floor, leaving behind marks of its wet body. Someone said, "Kill it!". I didn't. I just waited until it coiled itself, and inserted a piece of paper beneath it. It was trying to escape off from the other side. A chill passed by my heart. I held the paper with shaky hands, and carried it away with the worm on it. I threw it in the bushes nearby and bid him good day. "It will come again!", my mother said. "Not on the dry land, mom, not again... ", I smirked. Things digging themselves out of deep-within can't panic me.

Iterated!

Life seems like being caught in a Do While loop. The escape condition is not getting satisfied. Don’t know how many iterations left yet. Good if I had kept a “count++” in the “do” block. I return to this blog only when I don’t have any place to express my self. This may seem selfish. Who isn’t selfish, anyway? What has happened to the creative writer? He has lost his skills. Nah, he has just lost his concentration. He did what his mind told him to do. He lost control over his mind and let his body freely obey it. But now it’s over. From tonight, this geek is on a special diet: The diet for the brain. Just a bit of self control. No more throwing away actions. No more doing-as-I-like. Just me. Me, me and me. And me, too! Let the loop iterate. Let the world see a butterfly out of the pupae. Let there be light.

Challenges

Now, I have a challenge. I wouldn't call it tough. It is time-bound. Creating utopia is a both man's and woman's dream. The only difference is, the man starts thinking about the implying imperfections despite the fact that he, too is willing to give in his best for the perfect world. The woman, on the other hand, lives in the present tense and is constantly irritated by the alleged foresight of man. Whether this may or may not lead to a disruption, that only time can tell. But for man, there is nothing important than a woman who understands his dream and pushes him to go further and further. Such are relationships, and to give them a worldly name would be unjust. It's weird. The man, in constant effort of finishing the challenge, tries hard and hard and hard. Soon, the fear of failure creeps in. But what is he afraid of? Is he afraid of failure? Why would he be? Because he hurt his ego? Or because he lost? The reason of the fear cannot be known until the outcome of the ...

A Bit of the Real

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